To see the shot where someone has taped the newspaper headline ‘Monarch stumped as to Godzilla’s motives’ onto a map of the world like it is somehow a clue. To hear Rebecca Hall say like “I made a promise to protect her, and I think that in some way Kong did the same”. To see King Kong jump off an exploding boat like he’s auditioning for a 1990s Steven Seagal film. There’s something so relaxing about how completely, unapologetically stupid it is. Genuinely, they should put that trailer on the Headspace app. “I know things have been tough”, it seemed to say, “But here’s a film about two gigantic idiots whaling on each other for reasons that aren’t even slightly important. It felt like someone had lifted your brain from the top of your skull and carefully dipped it into a nice warm bath. After the year we’ve all had, the act of watching the Godzilla vs Kong trailer was like getting a massage. Because it is my sincere belief that a film like this would have not only kept the cinemas open, but forced the coronavirus into a terrified retreat. Imagine if cinema’s escape plan had been a film where a 120-metre prehistoric allegory for nuclear destruction gets the atomic beam smacked out of its mouth by a gorilla wielding what appears to be a skyscraper aerial like a medieval battleaxe. Now, imagine if Godzilla vs Kong had taken Tenet’s place. Tenet was advertised as nothing less than the saviour of the theatrical cinematic experience, which would have been great save for the fact that it wasn’t very good. A film that committed the dual sins of being too incomprehensible to stay awake for and too noisy to sleep through. I’ve managed to see just two films theatrically in the last 12 months one was Proxima, a sad French drama about maternal guilt. In terms of sheer cinematic spectacle, the past year has been a total non-starter. It’s a film about King Kong punching Godzilla.Īnd, honestly, I can’t wait. But you’re not going to do that, because the entirety of this film’s backstory is completely contained within its three-word title. Ostensibly, to enjoy Godzilla vs Kong, you would need to re-watch and appreciate 2014’s Godzilla, 2017’s Kong: Skull Island and 2019’s Godzilla: King of the Monsters in quick succession. Ostensibly, Godzilla vs Kong is the grand culmination of a long-gestating plan a cinematic universe where we are first introduced to the biggest, most iconic creatures in movie history, then gasp in awe as they’re trained upon each other. I didn’t know this, of course, until I watched the trailer for Godzilla vs Kong.
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